Are We Healing or Playing the Victim?

We all have wounds.  We carry them from our personal histories, and collectively through the traumas of the ages.  These wounds affect us on every level be it mental, emotional, physical, social, or spiritual and their effect within our lives is to cause symptoms—or pain—until our attention is captured and “healing energy” is applied—often in the form of forgiveness, be it towards our self, others, or the world at large.

Living in Ubud, we are surrounded by healers and subsequently, a lot of conversation about healing.  People come here, sometimes unbeknownst to them, to engage in these processes of personal emotional or spiritual healing.  Heck, even the word Ubud means healing.  Add to that the fact that our work with Pure Immersions enables deep personal reflections and meaningful group work and, well…I guess you could say we’re right in the thick of a whole lot of wound attention.   

These wounds (which we all carry) play out in our lives again and again, in a myriad of ways and so it is so vital to take the time to assess and dress our wounds (be it personal or collective), yet we must be careful as the act of “wound healing” can often become a form of personal malaise. 

If you’ve ever cared for a skin abrasion you’ll understand that too much attention—too much care—can actually allow a wound to persist.  Changing a dressing too often, over moisturizing, looking and picking at—all these interventions can keep the wound open—not allowing the proper process to actually heal the wound. 

Similarly, when we are working within the realm of personal emotional injury or trauma, we too can “overdress” our wound resulting in the same effect—a wound that remains open and doesn’t heal. 

Often this over-attentiveness to our wounds arises without our explicit intent, but purely as a result of identification with the wound. 

This is the victim archetype (as Carl Jung denoted).  In this scenario being a wounded person becomes part of our identity, and identity attachment is not an easy entity to shed. 

 The trick when assessing wounds and their healing is to know how much attention to pay. 

 What is the indicator? 

The indicator as to whether we’re still carrying a wound is the symptom—and knowing whether we’re experiencing a wound symptom is best revealed through the razor sharp edge of poignant personal inquiry. 

Arm yourself with these questions and travel to the depths of your soul.  The answers will come and once the wound is truly healed it will fall away as if it was never really there.

 Where is the pain?

Am I ready to let the pain go?

Is there a pattern of behavior or a belief preventing me from the growth I seek?

Just one more thing before I go.

On the flip side, not paying a wound any attention—being negligent-- results in scarring and manifests an entirely different archetype to be aware of…but we’ll save that one for another post. :)

In gratitude,



Meet Zefri Haryanto: Recipient of The More Beautiful World Scholarship

Before we let Zefri tell his story, we'd like to sincerely acknowledge all the applicants for this years TMBWOHKIP scholarship.

As we said to all the applicants as the essay submission deadline drew to a close, reading the heartfelt stories of the paths people are taking-- the huge risks, the genuine efforts to explore the world in search of a more beautiful existence within it, is a compelling reminder-- the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible already exists. 

We are each holding visions, visions that are uniquely ours, though woven together form a vibrant and indestructible tapestry of beauty.  From each corner of the world we change the story.  Whether we're a high school teacher, a lifelong volunteer, or a young man tutoring students in the gift, we hold a key. 

The movement is here; the momentum has begun.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to share their story.  It was read with care and awe-- we are filled up-- and we offer our gratitude for the inspiration you provide us, and no doubt the countless others you touch with your lives.

Now, it's time to meet Zefri!

Hi, my name’s Zefri. I’m 22 years old and I’m from Pekanbaru, Indonesia. I’m a math tutor for some primary and secondary school children.

Several months ago, I found an article on internet about a man who decides to stop charging his clients for his web design service. So, I became interested and started reading the article. I began to understand how uncomfortable he felt with the life he lived, as if he was living a fake life. I wondered why did a man with a good job in a company resigned from his position, until finally he decided to start a life that he dreams and wants, a Life as a Gift for Others. So, I feel like… ‘Ah! This is exactly how I want to live my life. I just want to offer my Gifts, my talent to People around me and to this Planet without the complexity of today’s monetary system.

                  The majority of people live their life without being able to really enjoy their life themselves. They do the job they don’t like 8 hours a day, 5 days a week to be able to pay for their family’s living. They put down their childhood’s great dreams, put down most of their favourites just to focus on their life struggle in today’s system. People began to lose the true community with others and to the nature. They only have a true kind of community with their family and close friends, while the relationships with others are mostly only for job purposes or business related purposes. So, I began to think, what can I do so that I won’t be dragged by this kind of social system that we have now. What can I do to help everyone out from this situation, what can I do to be able to build again the true community for everyone to live.

On September 2014, I and a good friend of mine started a nonscholastic course for primary and secondary school students. I named it Hikari Class. Hikari means light in Japanese. I hope that this class will bring light, fun, joy, and inspiration for the children in their learning process. I use Gift Economy in Hikari Class, so I don’t charge any fee to the children’s parents. Anyone who needs our help in studying Math and Science can come to Hikari Class and we’ll happily help them to study together. Then, their parents can share with us any kind of gifts according to their affordability (and not necessarily in form of money) as symbol of gratitude for helping their children. It gives me much contentment working in Gift Economy because our relationship with the children and parents are based on trust. Parents trust us to help their children to learn some Math and Science; and we trust the parents to support our class.

I do believe that a more beautiful world my heart knows is indeed possible. A world so beautiful that everyone could smile and laugh out so loud truly from the depth of their happy and contented heart. People caring and helping each other without anyone being left alone in their trouble. The children joyfully playing at the grass field, exploring the world, satisfying their curiosity. And every person has the opportunity to freely contribute to the community according to their unique talents. A World where the Musicians could create beautiful musics to be enjoyed by everyone, without worrying whether their music will be able to compete in the music industry. A World where the Painters could freely brush colors to their canvas creating beautiful artistic paintings that can be seen and enjoyed by everyone, without worrying whether it would be sold or not. A World where Farmers can cheerfully greet the morning sun, spreading the seeds, taking care of the vegetables and fruits with love, without worrying whether their family would have enough money for living or not. A World where everyone from any field of professions vigorously want to contribute to the community with their Gifts and talents.

I want to participate more in bringing that more beautiful world to people here. My knowledges and experiences on gift economics from Charles’ book and from working on Hikari Class are still so limited that I often run out of words when trying to explain this new story to others. So, I want to use this opportunity to learn more about living in sacred economics and a more beautiful world with Mr.Charles and others in this amazing retreat, so that I can share my Gifts more completely with everyone.